Beneficial Freedom

The other day Jason and I went to support our local and state governement by voting. We went to a rural volunteer fire department to vote. Knowing that it might be a while I stocked Sienna's diaper bag with a bottle and yummy crackers (must take after mommy). We arrive and the line is almost pouring out the building into the rain. I was a little sad that we would be in line for awhile, but we struck up a conversation with a friendly family who goes to our church. It really helps when you can have someone to talk to.

After winding around fire equipment and smelly fire boots, we could see the voting area. I was thrilled because Sienna had just downed 10oz. like it was nothing and scarved down her crackers. We give a man, who is as old as Moses', our name. He flips through his thick folder and then looks up and tells us we aren't there. He calls over a women whose tag reads, "Voter Judge." Not sure what her role is, but know it can't be good for us. She directs us through the crowd to a private room (it actually looks like a 70's church youth room, you know, the ones with the old couches and smelly rugs). She begins to ask us a series of questions and then determins that we might be at the wrong place, even though we had voted there last time. She gets on a phone that has a cord, didn't know they made those still, and tells us she is put on hold. We find out that this has happened to a number of others as well.

Considering the situation, Sienna is doing very well. The woman is quite nice and turns out to have a little baby the same age. This is no joke, she is put on hold for 15 minutes, which is a little ackward. I begin to look in my wallet and find a voting card that says where we are to vote, which isn't where we presently are. At this time the "Judge" tells us the same location that is on my voting card. We thank her and with heavy hearts walk through the crowd and run in the ran to our Jeep.

At this point I am quite frustrated because we had just waited for over an hour to find out we are in the wrong location and the correct one was literally just two blocks from our house. I am ranting about the lack of communication and telling Jason that I will not wait in another long line with Sienna. Jason doesn't respond in the same way as me. He wasn't understanding and supportive. How could he not be mad? Or frustrated? Instead of complaining like I was, he began to tell me of how long some people in a country who had never had a chance to vote before, had waited in line. That in this freedom land we live in many years early women didn't have the chance to vote.

His words were a sting to me. I couldn't argue him. He was right. What was my committment to this freedom I have. Where would I be if my fellow women years early responded the way I had? My commitment to this freedom seemed only beneficial to me when it came easy. I take for granted my abilities to vote and to live in a country that gives citizens the chance to have some sort of control of our destiny.

As we drove to the next voting area, I realized that if I had to stand in line for another hour, I would. So, as sat down to place my vote, my sense of freedom was filled in my heart and I knew that I was blessed to be apart of our countries history!

The Eyes of a Child

This past week I flew to Bama to visit with Jason's family, which was awesome. If any of you have kids and have traveled by yourself you know how difficult it can be. But my baby girl did very well, considering the fact that she is teething. Thank goodness that we don't experience that as adults, because I truly believe that our country would fall to pieces because no one would go to work and everyone would be totally whiney all the time (oh, wait I think that pretty much is how our country is anyways-j/k).

Anyways, on the way back to PA I had a lay-over in Cincy. As I made cirlces around the terminal with Sienna in the stroller I began to find myself somewhat irritated at the people around me. Some of them would cut me off or would just kind of walk right into me. One even looked at me funny, or at least I thought it was a funny look. So, I began to realize that I just needed to find a seat and try to keep Sienna occupied. As I parked my gigantic SUV of a stroller and began to bounce Sienna, a young mom pulled up with her SUV stroller. I was glad that she had sat next to us because Sienna just adores babies, children, or anything that is shorter than the average adult. The young mom pulled out her child and sat her in front of us. Automatically I knew that there was something physically and menatally wrong with the little girl. She was very petite and some of her features were not normal for a child. But I began to talk to the mom and bent down to talk to the little girl. I looked at Sienna and her face had a smile on it as wide as the grand canyon. She was thrilled to be looking at this little girl and to have her attention. Because the little girl, whose name was Gracey, was two and very active, the mom set off on foot with Gracey to keep her moving.

As I kept Sienna entertained I would see Gracey and her mom weaving in and out of the crowd. Gracey was pulling on her mom and just couldn't get enough of what was going on around her. No one even really noticed them. It was as if they didn't exist. But after some time they made there way back over to us, and as soon as Sienna saw the little girl, her face lit up. It was so precious. As I pondered about this later, I began to realize how much I could learn from my 8 month old. She didn't see anything different about Gracey, there was no judgement on her part, she took pleasure in Gracey just like she took pleasure in any other child. I need to be more like this. Not to see the differences in people, but to take pleasure in them for who they are. So, many times I live my life and never take the time to really look at the crowd or even put a face to the crowd. No one else probably even noticed little Gracey (except maybe to see her differences), but my little Sienna noticed her and didn't see anything but happiness in her, just like Christ sees her. I pray that I have eyes of a child and faith of a child!

Trusting the Wild

Some times life just doesn't make sense. I love and serve a God who is the essence of mercy and love, yet there are times that I am so confussed by Him. Last night as I was flipping through the whole ten channels on our tv, I came across a documentary on the Congo. It was filled with innocent men, women, and children that were slowing being starved. There was a family with two very small children that were being interviewed at there house (which in our society would be labled as a run down ol' shack). The husband talked about working in the diamond mines, which wasn't his choice but there are no other jobs available, and he works 12 hour days to only bring home a dollar. The wife goes to a place that our food inspectors would close down in a blink of an eye, the market. Here she buys different foods, which aren't even for her starving children, but for her to cook and take over to the mines to sell to the men there. When I saw this I thought what a strong woman she must be, because I am sure it would be tempting to take all of that food home to feed her boys. She totes one of her small boys, that has boils all over his feet, along with her. She also only earns around a dollar. Then after a long tiring day they all go home and sit down on a dirt mat for their first meal. Which consist of a green lettuce. There is no meat, fruits, or dare I say sweets.

The family discussed why it is this way, and from what I could gather it is because of politics. The leadership is corrupt and greedy. While millions are starving, they bring in over 2 billion dollars in revenue for diamonds. But the Congonease people don't see any of this. They hold elections, but really it is only an outward expression of democracy. Who the people vote for is either not elected or assasinated.

As I watched the footage I could only think of the babies and there sad eyes. They were so hungry and so small. I felt so humbled as I sat and popped whoppers into my mouth. As I went to my pantry to get the whoppers I never onced thought about those around the world that were going without. Thinking about all that I have and all the times that I have wanted more or didn't think I had enough shoes, really made me realize that I have more than I even realize. Yet, all around the world, even in our own communities, there are people who live on next to nothing.

Laying in bed that night I thought about the Congenease people and began to ask God why? Why did those babies and their families go hungry? Why did I have so much? What did He want me to do? What could I do? Many of these questions are not answered, but I know that I have a role in this world and in my community. I have the ability to pray and to use my resources as Christ ask me. But one of the most important roles is for me to trust this wild and confussing God.

Little Miss Bossy Pants

Well, I hate to burst your gentle & timid image of me, but I am bossy! No, really I am! In many ways I knew this to be a little bit true. Even growing up I would boss my younger sister around and tried to boss my older brother around, he usually just laughed and then would preceed to shoot me in the face with a beebee gun. The other day Jason & I watched some home videos of us over the past months. While watching this my eyes were opened to what a dictator I can be. I would tell Jason what to do & how to do it. I would even try to tell my family what to do. I thought giving instructions in a nice and kind way would help me not to sound so bossy, but it sure didn't. It was a little humbling, okay-big time humbling, to watch those videos. I turned to Jason and said, "I am BOSSY." A little piece of me was hoping that he would reassure me that I wasn't, he responded in the most loving way, "Uh, Ya think!"

This hit me hard. I don't want to be controlling and the type of person who has to boss others around. But I have become that person. I try to tell myself that things have to be done a certain way for our lives to run smoothly, but really it is my selfish way of trying to control things the way I want them done. This is not fair to the people around me, especially my husband, and one day my kids. After taking a long hard look at myself I have realized that my way isn't always the right way and there doesn't have to be a right and a wrong way. I need to rejoice that we are all different. I need to let my husband be his own boss (well, maybe I can gentle let him know that a yellow shirt shouldn't be thrown in with a load of whites) and let him wash the dishes how he wants to.

The fact is, I have a husband who loves me for me and allows me to be over organized & a little obsessive. I owe it to him to be not so bossy and a little more quit. Not that I should turn into a church mouse, but I should remind myself that no words are better than bossy words (well,something like that). He does so much for the family already without me even having to ask. Just yesterday he took Sienna out and let me lay in bed and read. He also, folded four loads of laundry. So, the next time I see him not wiping the counter a certain way, or not changing Sienna into a specific outfit, I am going to not say a word & thank him for all that he does.

The Annie's of the World

Well, things have been crazy busy here! So, I am sorry I haven't updated this thing in a while. Jason & I just celebrated our 5th anniversary on August 4th! The past five years have been the most rewarding & joyful years of my life. God has truly blessed me with the man of my dreams. Because I was leaving for Georgia on our anniversary, we celebrated a day early. We did something really romantice, we went to the Franklin Institute (ha,ha). We are both very inquisitive people who love to learn & study new things, well not really, we just had fun pushing buttons & playing with all the inventions. Basically, it was like going to a Disney poduction on ice, because all the people there were families. And there was Jason & I celebrating our anniversary. We did have a lot of fun. That is what I love about our relationship is that we can have fun doing about anything, we can make watching paint dry a fun experience.

Afterwards we went to this park with the famous "LOVE" sign & Jason suprised me with our vows to read to one another. Which is something that we have done at every anniversary & he had these picture clues that was a puzzle for me to guess what he had gotten me. Well, after much guessing & some helpful hints from him, I figured out that he had gotten me a diamond band. You see, when we got married I didn't get the band I really wanted because we were poor college students. I am not a big bling person but I always told him that on our 5th I would love to have a diamond band. I more talked about it then really thinking I would get one. I am a practical person & at times a penny pincher. But my dear husband remembered this & had all along knew he would get me one. He didn't have it with him, but was going to take me to pick out the one I wanted. He said five diamonds for five years (how romantic). And for the past month I had been working hard & lacking on sleep from making my very first big scrapbook for him. It was memories of our time together. He loved it!

Then we walked to China town & ate at a Thai restaurant. The place was packed we almost didn't get a seat, not really it was just Jason & I. The food was awesome, I think Jason's was a little hot 'cause he started to sweat. As we began to walk the mile or so back to our car in the heavy heat, we both began to get really thirsty. As people started to pass by with cold drinks & ice cream, and our mouths were becoming more & more parched we just knew we had to stop & get a coolata at the Dunkin Donuts. Well, as we rounded the corner to enter the small shop a person who seemed to blend into the wall stopped to ask us for food or money. I continued to go in, but my loving husband stopped & told the person to come on in & he would get something to eat for them. I of course began to go about my business ordering my drink, while this person wide- eyed & smiling began to search the menu for probably the first meal of the day or days. I the realized that this was a person & thought it was rude to not carry on a conversation with this person. My eyes were taken aback as I looked at this person (who was a women, all along I thought it was a small fragile man). The women was in jeans, high tops, & had three sweat shirts on. I was in a halter top & sweating like a river. As I began to talk to her & look into her eyes & learn her name, I wondered what Jesus would have thought of her. How would he treat her? Then I thought of her mother. I am sure that she had probably experienced love through her life or maybe she had only had hate poured onto her. All I knew was that this simple act of buying her a meal was much more than just an act but Christ living through my husband. I didn't feel pity for her but rather I felt love for her. She had a smile as wide as the Savannah river. She thanked us & rushed out the door.

After Jason & I got our drinks & walked out the door I looked across the street & saw her sitting with others at a Salvation Army church eating her precious dinner, lunch, & breakfast. She looked up & that big smile crossed her face & she began to wave excitedly. In the crowded sidewalk we waved back & continued to walk no sipping our coolata's and go back to our own world. As the night went on & I picked out my beautiful diamond band, I wondered about her story & her future. God made her before time began & loves her deeply. I do pray that she will find freedom. I hope that I don't miss out on the Annie's (that as her name) of the world. I pray that I don't feel pity for them but give them love as Christ would & as my husband did on that hot summer day!

Rejoicing in the Strong Will!

This past week Jason was speaking at Keswick Camp. Sienna and I went with him, which was our first time as a family going to a speaking engagement. Every meal we ate in the dinnning hall (the food was awesome) and sat with another family. After lunch one day they had brought out these ice pop things. Everyone at the table was enjoying theres 'cause it was a hot July day. I love ice cold things, so I got one as well. As I begin to eat mine I take Sienna out of her stroller and sit her on my lap. As we are all conversing we begin to notice that Sienna is eyeballing my ice pop. She starts to reach for it and I pull it away as any good mother would do to protect there baby from super lemon pops filled with sugar. The people at the table encourage me to let her try it, so I give in (she is teething and cold stuff is suppose to feel good on her gums). She is loving this thing. Drool filled with lemon juice is dripping down her chin and all down me. After a couple of minuets of this I take it away, like any good mother would do (have to protect her from overdosing on sugar). She instantly begins to scream and pitch a fit (all eyes are on me, seeing what I'm going to do). Just to see what she would do, I return it back to her mouth. She stops screaming. Her eyes are filled with contentment and she can't take her eyes off of the ice pop. I take it away again, she screams, put it back into her mouth, she stops. We repeat this a few more times. Finally, I take it away from her for good and throw it away. She screams for a second, and then her attetion is directed to some other thing (it is amazing the intense focus and baby can have).

We joked at the table about her sinful nature coming out in its purest form and how this could be a sign of what's to come with her being strong willed. As I begin to think about this I was faced with the fact that my child is not perfect (who would of thought-Ha,Ha) and that she is going to be strong willed. But this doesn't have to be looked at as something that is bad or wrong. The fact is, is that we are all imperfect and that is something that we are born with. This doesn't bother me because I know that there is hope for her in Christ. She will sin many more times, but she can receive forgiveness for that. And as far as her having a strong personality, I rejoice in that. She was designed before time and that is how God created her. There is no mistakes with God (enviornment can have affects on people, but that is a whole other discussion). So, when this happens again, I will praise God for her and pray that He gives Jason and I truth and light in knowing how to lead her. He has given us her for a time and we want to nurture her spirit into what He wants. This is a big responsibility, but I feel privledged to be given one of God's most highest creations. So, I rejoice in her strong will!

The Artist of the Universe

You are going to think I am a totally dork, but I love space. If I was smart enough I would be an astronaut. I use to go to Barnes and Noble and read astronomy magazines, but I couldn't understand a lot of what they were saying, I just enjoyed the pictures. Everything about it amazes me. I have always been infatuated with the wonder of it. When I was in college I looked forward to when my science class would study space and the moon. Whenever I could I would teach on astronomy. It is crazy that we as humans can enter something so big and unknown. There aren't even words in the human language to describe its wonder and beauty. When you look at the sun you are really looking at a star, but it is only one of billions out there. We couldn't live without the sun, so I wonder if there is other life out there.

Just think that our milky way is only one of many. We have yet to understand the one we live in. Even though we can send humans to space, it is still a very uncharted mass of being. It is like how Earth wasn't always charted as it is now. I wonder if thousands of years from now space will be charted much more thoroughly, and the people of that time period will look back on us and think how in the dark we were on space. I am still in awe of how much we can do. Just think if we went back in time to Noah's time and told them that one day someone would be walking on the moon, I am sure they would laugh at us. They laughed at Noah for building an ark and telling people it was going to rain.

Another piece that I am awe struck with, is that God knows all that is out there, and He is the creator of it. I wonder what was going through his mind as He began to form the vast mass. Despite the beauty of it, He still thinks that we are the most beautiful thing that He created. We get to have a personal relationship with the artist of the universe. We should be shouting this from the mountain tops. Just as people are out there trying to get there mind around space and desperately trying to discover new things about it, we should be like that with God. He is so big and beautiful. I will never totally understand Him and His ways right now, but I should be discovering new things about Him.